Pain

Tonight is looking like a pain night.  My body aches.  My sciatica is acting up.  This week I had two migraine days.  This is one of those times when I wish I was someone else.  Someone who didn't hurt all the time.  What makes it worse is that it is so hot.  The air conditioning hasn't been turned on yet and I feel feverish.
Okay that is enough whining because frankly my fingers are hurting now!

Trying to approach the future with a sense of Tao

We might be moving.

We might not.

I am trying to see both sides as beneficial.  If we move it potentially means a safer environment for the little one.  It means a potential new career path for me.  It means being closer to family.  If we stay it means financially we might be better off.  We would not have to worry about selling our home.  My current career could stay on track.

I am trying to see neither good or bad in either situation, simply potential.

Why?

I was sitting watching the TV Guide channel to see what was on and an episode of Designing Women was playing.  It happened to be the one where the "couples" were trapped on a mountain.  They start this whole discussion/fight about who is better men or women.  My husband was in the room.  In the episode both sides kept it from being too personal by saying "Men do this" or "Women are this way" no direct attacks like "You are this or do this."  My husband decides to jump into the arguement.  I reminded him this is a tv show.  He continued on the side of men.  I got mad and left the room when he said "You still don't have control of the House or Senate. You don't make 80% of the income. You... You.. You..."  I don't quite recall what he said because each "You..." made me madder.  Why is it when I can talk in the abstract about stereo types or statistics he always personalizes the attack with the word "You"?  Even the men on the TV were able to talk about "Men" and "Women."  My husband had to go with "You."  Because I am personally responsible for the entire female gender though out history!

Here I go again.

I want to be honest, but some people can't handle honesty.

I am following my own path, using the masks I have to keep me safe, happy, and less stressed.

Here maybe I can be myself, even as I hide.